It started at 8:00 am

March 30, 3:00 in the morning, I suddenly awoke, with a nagging feeling in my gut, thinking..today is the day..today is the day... I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't. 5:00 am, stood up and made myself a cup of coffee and drank in silence. 6:00 am, preparation time, 7:00 am, I was on my way to Kalayaan Ave. I arrived at the PPS building at exactly 7:30 am. On my way up, that nagging feeling in my gut was now accompanied by palpitations and tremors. I entered the waiting area, signed in and waited to be called. The other examinees were quietly reading. I, was staring into space. 8:00 am, we were called by groups, 15 examinees per group. I was included in the first group. We were given 3 panelists/examiners and 20 minutes each to answer their questions "intelligently". How do you answer that? My first panelist, an infectious disease specialist from a prestigious university in Manila asked about Meningococcal Meningitis vs. Meningococcemia, prognosis, pathogenesis, etc. I was shaking, as in literally shaking. My second panelist, the outgoing president of our society, asked about Dengue Fever. I thought it went quite smoothly. My third and final panelist, a known nephrologist from one of the largest pediatric centers in Quezon City asked about Dengue Shock. I couldn't tell whether or not I was answering "intelligently". She just stared at me the whole time I was talking.. more of like a blunt/flat affect. No "ok" or "alright", not even a "yes" or "no". No gestures of approval or disapproval either. Geez, how intimidating... I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. While waiting for my collegues, one of the examinees approached me and made small talk. She asked how it went and who my examiners were, then said, "OMG... 2 sa mga examiners mo, si Dr. ____ & Dr. ____ nambabagsak... naku, pray ka nalang" What the...??!! Ok, I was feeling low.. she made me feel even worse...

to be continued...